Before we get to today’s article, I just want to mention that am writing from the perspective of a man that has experienced many of the challenges of which I write…. and those spiritual battles continue daily. The articles are implications of what it means to obey the commandment to raise your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. They require some reflection and are particularly for Christians who, as Peter would say, are diligently seeking to confirm their calling and are making every effort to supplement their faith. Said more succinctly, serious Christians. If you know other believers who desire to walk more faithfully with the Lord, please forward an article to them and tell them to sign up for future articles. Thanks so much!
In May of 2022, I retired from Cherokee Christian School after serving as the Superintendent for 22 years. During those 22 years of interacting with parents and children, the Lord convicted me of the importance of biblically raising children and the massive effect the lack of faithful Christian parenting has had on our culture. Hence, I launched a new online ministry in September called, CherishEphesians64. The website presents a review of the culture, the church in America, and the Biblical mandates for the church and parents to cherish and obey Ephesians 6:4 (Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord).
I also write a weekly article and didn’t know what kind of response I might get, but after 7 weeks of articles, I am very encouraged. I am also going to take the advice from my daughter who said last week, “dad, you need to be more transparent and tell them about yourself and your life experiences.” That seemed to be exactly what I didn’t want to do- make this ministry about myself. But, upon further discussion I understood her argument. It is probably helpful to the reader to know the person behind the articles and have better context for understanding the writer’s point of view. So, here we go. My plan is to share my life testimony with you, maybe over three articles, and weave in the theology that has created my Christian worldview. Lord willing, you won’t feel like you have been invited over to my home to see old dusty slides of my childhood. Instead, I hope that you will hear me boasting in the Lord and will join me in praising His holy name!
Chapter I
I grew up in the small town of Jamesport, New York. I would describe it as pretty much a middle class town where most of the economy was driven by the local farming of potatoes and cauliflower. It was a wonderful area to raise a family, traditional in its values and surrounded by beautiful beaches. My mom and dad were religious, hardworking people who did whatever was necessary to provide for their brood of five children. My dad never made it through high school, but he had a tremendous work ethic and sometimes found it necessary to work two or even three jobs. Earlier in our family’s life, he worked in the bowels of the New York Times as a photo engraver, but when we moved to the East End of Long Island, he found work in the local jail, did some painting on the side, and eventually went to work driving one of those now famous brown trucks for UPS. My dad also built the home we lived in. A sprawling 3 bedroom, one bath home of about 1200 square feet that never seemed to be too small for the two adults and five children that were living there.
For my first eight years of school, I attended a private religious school and achieved what my parents expected from all of their children- straight A’s in every subject all the time. Because of that academic success as well as a behavior which appeared to be quite angelic, I was made president of my class every year and given special privileges by the teachers. Rather than respond with a heart of thankfulness and humility, I grew to believe that I could manipulate people quite easily as long as I showed them certain behaviors. These early years were also formative in me believing the Great American mantra that you can be whatever you want to be, which implies your destiny is in your own hands. Nothing like building a heart and mind full of pride and early humanistic thinking, thank you.
Approaching the high school years, I had fallen in love with the game of basketball and thanks to the genes that I had inherited from my super athletic father, I began to become quite proficient. I also had learned to set goals so during the next four years of high school my goal was to become the first member of my family to attend college and to do it on a full athletic scholarship. I finished high school with many accolades and did receive offers to play basketball in college. I was a “big man on campus” at Riverhead High School. The college I chose to attend was a school in Connecticut because the coach was friends with my high school coach. This later turned out to be a disastrous decision.
Arriving as a freshman at college, my immediate prospects for continuing as a “big man on campus” were good. The basketball program was the number one sport at the school, and I was going to be in the starting unit on the varsity squad. In my mind, I was projecting fame by the time I was a senior! This would have been a good time to have a heart filled with thankfulness to God, but I did not know him. After years of church going and religious schooling, I knew some things about God, but I did not know Him in way that made me want to obey and love Him. I was a hard hearted, prideful, self-centered young man. I was blind to seeing God’s kindness to me, His love, His provision, and His protection. This is what theologians have called, “common grace.” That is, the kindness of God to all people, even those who ignore or despise Him.
My wonderful little world did not stay wonderful for long. I plunged headlong into partying, alcohol, promiscuity, and foolish behavior. I was creating a new reputation, one that may have been enjoyed by some, but despised by others. Or should I say, despised by one in particular- my coach. I believe he was aware that many of the jocks on campus got a little wild, but when the school newspaper made mention of me personally in an article, he was furious and my relationship with him was destroyed. After three years of riding the bench and seemingly never being able to exit his doghouse, I resigned my scholarship and never played in my senior year. So much for fame by my senior year!
Something else happened of note during those first three years. Frustration from my dreams being hammered led to even more crazy behavior. Day after day, I tried to figure it all out and fix it, but I got nowhere. Then, one night during this time of desperation, I was approached by a Christian group that invited me to join them. I shared with them my troubles and they shared the gospel with me. I wanted so bad to be free of my troubles. I decided to accept Christ and immediately upon doing do, I was filled with so much energy that I literally had to run around the dorm building for several minutes. In the weeks that followed, I attended the Bible studies and began going to church. However, it wasn’t long after that that the people in the group began to seem weird to me. I lost my desire to go to church and I stopped hanging out with them altogether. Guess what? False conversion. I had been living in an emotional nightmare and was frantic to end it. It seemed Jesus was the answer, but He was not. I never asked myself and answered the right questions that the gospel demands. Did I see my sin? Did I see the need of God’s forgiveness through Christ? Did I count the cost? No, I just wanted a tonic for my woes.
One last thing happened as I approached my final year of college. I had already met a beautiful American Indian woman about a year or so earlier. Myself and a few of my buddies had just closed down the campus bar (yes, we had a bar on campus) and were roaming the streets, singing, and carousing like idiots when we came upon one of the girls’ dormitories. It took only a few minutes before a couple of the resident assistants came to the front of the building to threaten us with a call to campus security. And there she was. Little did I know that God had sovereignly brought us together and we would be married just a couple of years later. We finished our senior year dating and married just ten days after graduation at the fresh young ages of 20 and 21.
And we had plans. We knew so much about what we should do. Or, so we thought. The new plan was to work super hard and make lots of money. My basketball idol was ultimately crushed and now I had a new idol- money and all of the happiness that money could bring.
Stay tuned for Chapter 2….
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Last modified: October 24, 2022
