Before we get to today’s article, I just want to mention that am writing from the perspective of a man that has experienced many of the challenges of which I write…. and those spiritual battles continue daily. The articles are implications of what it means to obey the commandment to raise your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. They require some reflection and are particularly for Christians who, as Peter would say, are diligently seeking to confirm their calling and are making every effort to supplement their faith. Said more succinctly, serious Christians. If you know other believers who desire to walk more faithfully with the Lord, please forward an article to them and tell them to sign up for future articles. Thanks so much!
Who Is This Guy And Why Does He Think He Has Something To Say? Chapter 2.
Welcome back to CherishEphesians64 and the question yet to be answered, Who Is This Guy And Why Does He Think He Has Something To Say?
Before, I move forward in my testimony to the mercy and grace of God, I want to pause for a moment to reflect on what I had learned from my life experiences at that point. The answer: nothing. Well, nothing at that time that was based in truth and gives real meaning and purpose to life. Instead of giving thanks to God for all that he had given me in so many ways, I refused to even acknowledge that God had any part in my life. Rather than worship him as He deserves, I worshiped and loved the things that He had bestowed on me, namely my various talents and abilities to achieve my goals. I was the epitome of the Romans 1:18-23 person. I was dedicating my life to the things that give short term pleasure and never satisfy; things that have no eternal value but keep you busy chasing them in the here and now. I had no answers for the experiences in which I suffered loss- they were just fate or bad luck, and the plans I made implied that I was in control. Of course, God has no problem with us making plans, He just hates the idea that a worm (that would be me) thinks he can control His world. And finally, my takeaway on Christianity was that it was for weird people. If it sounds like I was blind to the truth and would predictably lead the life of a fool, you are correct. From 2 Corinthians 4:4- In their case the god of this world (Satan) has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.
Transitioning back to the story, I’ll pick up immediately after we got married. Robin and I had decided that we would move to wherever we got the first job. Well, with her degree in Physical Therapy, she was quickly snatched up by a hospital in her hometown Philadelphia. We took a basement apartment near the jail in Philadelphia, soon upgraded to a nicer apartment, and quickly proceeded to do what all good Americans do- buy things that they can’t actually afford. We had a friend of a friend in the banking business, and he set us up with our first credit card. We had a family member in the car business, and we immediately purchased a sparkling yellow Mazda RX7- the hottest little sportscar at that time. Wow, we were really moving! After about a year in Philly, we moved back to my hometown where Robin got plugged into the local hospital and I started my career as a “top notch” car salesman. I have many stories about that, but that’s not for now.
In Love With This World
New York is one of the worldliest places on the planet. You know the song -if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. But, you have to be on the lookout for opportunities. So, when a highly successful insurance agent offered me a job to make more money, off I went. And over the next handful of years, we did make a lot of money. We had new cars every two years (always more expensive than the prior ones), purchased a six unit apartment building, bought two homes, and contracted to have a villa built in the Caribbean on the island of Anguilla.
Just a brief word about Anguilla. Anguilla is located just north of St. Martin and at the time (1984) it was an unspoiled, non-commercialized island that was yet to be discovered by investors. The reason we invested there was because a builder that we had insured for years in NY had moved there and was developing a plot of land called Seafeathers. We had an opportunity to get in on the ground floor, so we jumped on it. The plan was to have our builder friend manage the rentals during the year and deposit our money into an Anguillan bank account where we could choose to bring the cash home to the states… or not. Obviously, another brilliant plan.
The Love Of Money Blinds You To The Risks
My business partner and I also had an idea about opening insurance agencies immediately next door to Motor Vehicle Bureau locations (Tag Offices). This would make it easy for new drivers and those with expired auto insurance to get the insurance and tag at almost the same location. We opened up three of these locations in N.Y. at select locations and invited one of my brothers to join us in running a third location. We had a lot going on and seemed to be very successful by the world’s standards. However, the wealth creation that was being seen by others hid the fact that much of it was created using debt. But, that was OK because everything was moving in a positive direction. We were still on track to achieve my goal of being wealthy and drinking Mai Tais on the beach forever sometime in our 30’s.
It was now 1987 in New York, and we were experiencing the effects of a financial crash on Wall Street. We were ready to upgrade our home but were discouraged by the ever increasing real estate costs and taxes. We had a friend that had been to Atlanta and was touting the greatness of the city, so we decided to visit. We quickly fell in love and two months later, myself, Robin and our three year old son hit the road and landed in Marietta, GA. I made arrangements to step away from the N.Y. insurance agencies and went to work as a loan officer for a national bank.
However, I soon learned that Georgia allows private companies to process auto tags for the public, so the idea of providing insurance and tags under one roof came back into the mix. After testing the concept for a year, I went into a partnership with a local insurance agent and created Insurance & Tag Express. Once again, we found ourselves funding a startup business with debt. The public loved the idea and at certain times of the year we had people standing in line out into the sidewalk. But, that was only at certain times of the year and the business began to fail.
The Gig Is Up
We were now married for thirteen years, had two children, and had been living in Georgia for five years. Robin had been forced to go back to work in order to support our debt load. Where once it seemed like myself and my business partners could do no wrong, we now could do nothing right. Financially, the house of cards was imploding. I had run up our debt on the 25 credit cards and personal lines of credit to more than $300,000. My mind and my dreams were being crushed.
Meanwhile, we heard that my younger brother Jim had joined a cult in California. Jim seemed to have a different path than the other three “Lee boys.” Tom went to Colgate on a full basketball scholarship, John went to Brown on a full baseball scholarship, and I had gone to Quinnipiac on a full basketball scholarship. Jim was also athletically talented, but the things didn’t come together the same way and after attending Fordham University for a while, he began to get, well let’s just say, distracted by other things. So, given Jim’s earlier history, we thought it was sad but not surprising that he would fall into some strange situation. John and I agreed that somebody had to go out there and save Jim from himself and John volunteered to make the trip. The plan was for John to come back to the east coast through a stop in Georgia so when I picked him up at the Atlanta airport, I had a cold six pack of beer ready to go. I met John as he came up from the gate and as we got into the car, I noticed what seemed to be a very bright countenance. I don’t know why I said it, but I turned to him and said, “Did you get Jesus or something?” Smiling, he said, Yes!” Remembering my position as the older leader brother, I kept my cool and said, “I suppose you’d like to talk about it.” He grinned and agreed.
When You Don’t Even Know What God Is Doing
In the months that followed, I listened to John as he talked about what he was learning and when in the car together, Christian radio and tapes from well-known pastors and theologians would fill the air. At first, I listened carefully so I could rebut any arguments for becoming one of those born again people, but something else was happening at the same time. God was continuing to grind every goal and dream that I ever had into powder. In June of 1993, I finally saw the truths about Who God is, my sinful and foolish heart, and the fact that I desperately needed to be forgiven by Him. I realized what He had done for me for so many years and how great an idolator I was. For the first time, I began to apply truth to my life. I understood and put absolute trust in Christ’s work on the cross for horrible undeserving sinners like me and was given a new heart and a new life.
Interestingly, I had not been to a church or had a personal conversation with a pastor or church leader. I had come to truly know God because he removed my blinders and because as it says in Hebrews 4:12- For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
And God’s word was not bound by geography or time. During a period of about a year, John and his wife in New York, Jim and his wife in California, a close cousin in Washington, and my parents in New Hampshire all came to know Christ. It was not unusual for us to call each other and gleefully exchange with tears what we were learning and what God was sovereignly doing in our lives.
I didn’t care about money anymore. All I wanted to do was read the Bible so I could learn more and grow in my newfound faith. But my troubles were not over by a long stretch. I had $300,000 of unsecured debt, no money, and a marriage that I was waking up to realize had been rotting under the weight of a decade of my selfishness. Robin was planning a divorce.
Hope to see you next time in Chapter 3.
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Last modified: October 27, 2022
