When To Quit Sharing The Gospel.

Before we get to today’s article, I just want to mention that am writing from the perspective of a man that has experienced many of the challenges of which I write…. and those spiritual battles continue daily. The articles are implications of what it means to obey the commandment to raise your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. They require some reflection and are particularly for Christians who, as Peter would say, are diligently seeking to confirm their calling and are making every effort to supplement their faith. Said more succinctly, serious Christians. If you know other believers who desire to walk more faithfully with the Lord, please forward an article to them and tell them to sign up for future articles. Thanks so much!

Recently, a situation arose in my own life that led me to think that an article about when to stop sharing the gospel with an unbeliever might be helpful to those in the same situation. However, since that initial thought, I have gone back and forth in my mind on whether or not it was a good idea. You’re probably not going to get this kind of analysis in a book on evangelism. I mean, how can we ever stop sharing the gospel with a person? The idea seems to be unloving or even disobedient to the Great Commission. And if we are talking about not sharing with a loved one or family member, it may be said that not doing so is downright hateful.

Yet, the idea of not sharing the gospel with certain people or not continuing to share with people that we have already shared the gospel with is not something that has been cooked up by me or any other man. The words come from the One Who commanded us to teach and preach about Himself- The Lord Jesus. In Matthew 7:6 Jesus says, Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you. It may be hard to hear a person being referred to in that way, but God is harsh and clear in His words about those who reject Him. He uses words for unbelievers like an abomination, wicked, and haters of God.

At first blush, there seems to be confusion, maybe even a contradiction between Jesus’ words in Matthew 28:18-20 (The Great Commission) and Matthew 7:6. But looking more carefully, we can see that there is a difference in context. The Great Commission is the broad sweeping command from Jesus to evangelize the world, but the command in Matthew 7:6 is an exception to the command. The command in Matthew 7:6 requires us to evaluate the situation before we continue in our evangelism. We see this being worked out in Mathew 10:11-14 when Jesus sends out the disciples-

And whatever town or village you enter, find out who is worthy in it and stay there until you depart. As you enter the house, greet it. And if the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it, but if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town.

And again, in Acts 13:50-52 with Paul and Barnabas–  But the Jews incited the devout women of high standing and the leading men of the city, stirred up persecution against Paul and Barnabas, and drove them out of their district. But they shook off the dust from their feet against them and went to Iconium. And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit.

In both situations, the evangelists intended to obey the Great Commission, but abandoned sharing the gospel based on the initial response from the people. They were looking to see if God has already prepared the hearts of the people so they would receive the truth of the gospel and if not, they moved on. It is interesting to note that after the Bible says that Paul and Barnabas shook the dust off their feet, it does not say that they were deeply saddened because the people didn’t receive them. It says, they were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit. I don’t take this to mean that they were happy that those people didn’t get saved, but rather that it is an indication that they did not take any responsibility for the message being rejected. They were very aware that only our sovereign God could open those hearts to the good news and thus, they were rejoicing simply in the privilege to be used by God to deliver the message.

Unfortunately, knowing when and when not to share the gospel is not so easy for us. We do get some valuable instruction in the case of the scoffer, but in every other case it is a difficult question to answer. Let’s look at the case of sharing the gospel with a scoffer first.  The scoffer is one who despises the truth and despises authority. They typically show this by their words, body language, or actions. They can be divisive and drag others down with them with their deeply sinful attitudes. We see scoffers and mockers in the New Testament railing against Christ and Paul (Matt. 12:24, Luke 4:23, Acts 13:45 and more).

And what are they railing against? Not just simple words that contain truth. Jesus gives us the perspective that we should have in Mathew 13:45 when he describes the gospel news as a beautiful pearl: “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it.” That pearl has been purchased with the precious blood of the King of kings, andsuch a pearl should not be thrown into a pen of pigs or a pen of scoffers.

The scriptures help us understand who the scoffer is and how to react to them. They are dangerous and should be driven out of a group (Proverbs 22:10); they are the little yeast that works through the whole dough (1 Corinthians 5:6); they do not like to be reproved or rebuked (Proverbs 13:1 and 15:12); they delight in their scoffing (Proverbs 1:22); and we are fools to continue to bang our heads against the spiritual walls that they have erected (Proverbs 9:7-8).

So, I believe it is clear that we are not to continue to share the gospel with those who are clearly scoffing at the gospel. But what about those who are not scoffing? What about those who are just not “getting it” even though we have spent countless hours talking to them on the phone, meeting in person, or writing letters? This is where we will need to have godly wisdom and discernment and this is where I think it would be helpful to raise a number of questions about what is going on in your heart, not the person to whom you are sharing with.

But before we go there, I want to lay down another incredibly important truth as we dive into this area of evangelism and that is this: PEOPLE DO NOT SAVE PEOPLE FROM THE WRATH OF GOD. Yes, I put that in ugly caps because I am raising my voice for emphasis. I suppose that most of you already know and agree wholeheartedly, so I won’t make this article any longer by citing proof texts. The truth is that God is the only one Who has the power and authority to blow life into the heart of an unbeliever and only when He does, the unbeliever understands and loves the good news of the gospel, repents of their sins, and cries out to God to be saved. This fundamental truth will reverberate through the rest of this article.

With that being stated, I think it would be good for me to provoke thinking about the issue of when to stop sharing the gospel by anticipating questions and using a question and answer format to address them.

Q: Faith comes by hearing, so how will they believe if I stop preaching at them? They will never get saved!

A: You are correct in saying that they must hear the gospel in order for them to believe the gospel, but have you fallen into the wrong belief that you are the only one that God can use? Do you realize that taking the approach that you must speak truth to them may be an indication that you have forgotten the power and wisdom of our sovereign God?

Q: Isn’t it true that if I continue to share the gospel truth no matter what the circumstances, it will likely soften their hearts so they will eventually believe?

A: No, sharing the gospel and calling a person to repentance and belief may be actually result in hardening their heart against God. The Bible teaches that with every rejection of the truth, the heart is hardened, not softened, and after a period of time, the conscience can become seared and no longer be moved by the gospel message. An example of this is the experience of the street preacher in rough downtown areas. The lost person has heard the gospel many times and may even agree to lots of things about Jesus, but it has not led to a change of heart. They have heard it so many times and it means nothing to them. I am not saying that we should not preach to those in the streets because we do not know what God may do. My point is that we should not think that if we continue to hammer a person with Biblical truth, we are moving them closer to genuine faith.

Q: In the past I have had success in constantly badgering a person with Biblical truth. I kept after them for a long period of time and they finally gave in. So, I don’t agree with this idea of not sharing after some point and time.

A: You have had success? Hopefully, your words are not truly indicative of what you believe. You did not save anyone. If anyone was saved it was God and God alone Who used you as a tool to do His work in a person. In addition, what God has done with one person that you know is no guarantee that He will do the same with another. He will have mercy on Who He has mercy! This may be sinful presumption.

And finally, how do you judge “success?” Can you know that a person’s faith is real or that they will persevere to the end? Again, we are brought back to realize that there are the secret things of God; things that He does not reveal to us (Deut. 29:29). It is His domain of knowledge, not ours.

Q: Is it wrong to strategize my evangelism in order to best explain the truth?

A: No, I think our evangelism calls for wisdom and discernment so we can establish an environment for clear communication. I think about what Paul did in Athens and how he preached in the context of their love of many gods and how he later insisted that Timothy would be circumcised so it would not be a stumbling block to the Jews. However, we can fall into sin in our evangelism when we begin to believe that our strategies or plans will be the deciding factor in a person’s decision to come to Christ.

Q: I have an absolute resolve that I will never stop preaching at this person until they fold their sinful tent and come to Christ! Am I not a warrior for Christ?

A: Having a deep concern and love for a person that manifests itself in a commitment to evangelize them is a noble mission. However, with such determination we can begin to lose sight of how this mission may affect other parts of our life. Should that determination begin to affect your Christian duties such as your marriage or family in sinful ways, you may be making the target of your evangelism an idol. This might be a reason to pull back or stop sharing the gospel in this situation. God does not call us to commit sin in one area of our life so we can please Him in another.

Q: The person I am sharing with is a person who continues to hurt others because of his love for himself. I need to continue to step in and get this situation fixed by making sure that they get a new heart and begin to lead their life in a God honoring way.

A: It is painful to watch a sinful person hurt the people that are around him and it is true that they will need Christ in their heart in order to lead a life faithful to the Lord and good for others. But again, it is important to remember that God has many people and many ways through which He can share the gospel with that person you may not be His choice. After many efforts over an extended period of time, it may be that the only thing you are accomplishing is the destruction of your relationship. It is important that your relationship be maintained so that you will have a new opportunity to share if God sovereignly chooses to open that person’s heart in the future.

Q: I am very frustrated with the person that I have been sharing with. I have been at it for a long time, and they don’t seem to care at all. Is this a reason to stop sharing?

A: No, your frustration is not a reason to stop in itself. However, it is a reason for you to repent of your frustration and remember that you are dealing with a spiritually dead person. Also, you may need to remember that you must wait on God to do the work in their hearts and if He has not, your continued frustration is actually a form of grumbling against His timetable. If this is an ongoing sin issue for you, it may be time to pull back on your evangelism with this particular person.

Q: Can you just give me a formula for deciding when to stop sharing the gospel with a person?

A: I know we all love to get those how to steps, but there is no formula. Every situation is unique because every person is unique. What do they know? What has been their reaction to hearing the gospel? How long have you been sharing? How does this particular time commitment and effort affect the rest of your life?

Q: Does stopping the evangelizing of a person mean that I shouldn’t talk to them anymore?

A: Absolutely not! Lord willing, you have some level of a relationship with that person and God calls us to love and care for all people. You don’t know when and if God will begin to draw that person to Him and when he may have questions for you about the gospel. We should live open, Christ-reflecting lives, and continue to make mention of how Christ is working in your life.

Some concluding thoughts- Sharing the gospel is a wonderful privilege and mission for the Christian, but there may be situations both in our lives and the lives of those we desire to evangelize, that would instruct us to stop sharing the gospel, at least for a period of time. Remembering the fact that it is God Who is in absolute control of our evangelism efforts and being vigilant about our own sinful tendencies are critical to God honoring efforts to share the good news.

I’ll leave you with one final comment that may be the bomb of this far too long article and that is the necessity of prayer in evangelism. As I examine my own practice, I see how shamefully shallow my prayers are for those I am sharing with and those who I desire to share with. If you are like me, this lack of prayer is revealing a belief that it is me who is in control and it is me that has to figure things out, and it is me who has the power to convince a person to believe the gospel. Much repentance is needed.

Are there times to stop evangelizing a person? Yes. Are there times where we should stop praying for a person to come to Christ? No, and I am afraid of that day when I am face to face with the Lord and He shows me the consequences of my lack of prayer. May we not presume on His grace today by continuing in slothfulness and unbelief!

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Last modified: August 31, 2023