Parents, Worry Less About The President’s Leadership And More About Your Own.

Before we get to today’s article, I just want to mention that am writing from the perspective of a man that has experienced many of the challenges of which I write…. and those spiritual battles continue daily. The articles are implications of what it means to obey the commandment to raise your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. They require some reflection and are particularly for Christians who, as Peter would say, are diligently seeking to confirm their calling and are making every effort to supplement their faith. Said more succinctly, serious Christians. If you know other believers who desire to walk more faithfully with the Lord, please forward an article to them and tell them to sign up for future articles. Thanks so much!

Parents, Worry Less About The President’s Leadership And More About Your Own.

 When you think of all the sermons that you’ve heard through the years, it is sometimes funny to think about what you actually remembered. During one of Pastor John Piper’s sermons many years ago, he commented about reading the newspaper and how it would be appropriate for God to be mentioned not only on the first page headlines, but rightfully woven into every article throughout the entire newspaper. His point was it is God Who deserves all of our attention and all of our praise, and it is the things of God that should be most interesting to us.

Recently, I listened to an excellent sermon by my own Pastor, Shane Koehler, I thought back to Piper’s comment and what it would be like if we were to open the newspaper (does anyone still do that?) and see a number of reports on how I have been doing in my Christian life each week. I must confess that I do love to read the news each morning and I can defend that time by saying that I feel it’s part of my responsibility to understand the times that we are in (although I’m not sure how tracking the number of points my favorite ball player scores fits into that).

Pastor Koehler’s sermon focused on Matthew 23:1-12 and was an exposition on Jesus’ teaching on the subject of leadership. When I think of leadership, my mind usually goes to those who are in charge. They are people who have been placed into a position of greater responsibility and are expected to have a strong character and a great deal of integrity.

Thousands of books have been written, seminars held, and major conferences conferred throughout our country over the past 100 years about how to become a great leader.  But the training you will find within these books, seminars, and conferences, is dramatically different from what Jesus teaches about leadership. And I would venture to say that the vast majority of all leadership training is directed to business and political leaders. In this article, I am not going to share with you all that Pastor Koehler preached in his sermon (listen to the sermon here: https://www.youtube.com/live/7CTxFcNVKLw?si=aOn1LHNSIsZK3QCR), but I am going to take the main points of his sermon and apply them directly to the leadership God demands in the Christian family. As leaders in their own home, Christian parents have the most important task on the planet- to work out their obedience to Ephesians 6:4, that is, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Here is the passage that he preached from with my emphasis underlined:

“Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, “The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat, so do and observe whatever they tell you, but not the works they do. For they preach, but do not practice.

They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger.

They do all their deeds to be seen by others. For they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long, and they love the place of honor at feasts and the best seats in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces and being called rabbi by others.

But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all brothers. And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. Neither be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Christ. The greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”

So here was point # 1: Leaders align their lives with their teaching (see the verse that says, For they preach, but do not practice. I have written previously about this, but the point is so important for parents, it bears repeating again and again. Think about all of the things that you tell your children to say or do and then honestly assess your own doing and saying of those same things. Here are a few to get you started:

• Don’t be angry with your sister (Do you show anger with them or your spouse?).
• Clean up after yourself (Do you leave it to others to pick up after you?).
• Make your bed and clean up your room (What does yours look like?).
• Put all of your stuff away (Check your garage and basement for how you are doing with this).
• Be thankful (Do you regularly teach them to be thankful because they hear you express gratitude?).
• All of your money belongs to God, so don’t spend it on frivolous things (This one might really hurt you!).
• Be considerate to others (Would they say that they see you practicing this?).
• Take care of your toys (Do you take care of all of your possessions?).
• Come home on time (How do you do with taking them to school or picking them up from an event?).
• Protect your brain and heart by not watching stupid things on a screen (you may ask, is there an acceptable amount of watching stupid or unedifying things before I get disqualified?).
• Stop sniffling and blow your nose (I am a master class sniffler).
• Read your Bible (If they don’t see you doing this, you may as well throw everything else that you have taught them about God right out the window).

And if you struggle with these things, take the opportunity for you to confess it and remind your children that we always need God’s help to consistently do anything that is good and how He is gracious to help us in time of need.

Point # 2 Leaders assist the weak (see the verse that says, “but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger.”

OK, so this one hit home for me. Looking back to my days as a father, I was very good at establishing and enforcing the rules of the house, but I am afraid that I was slack on the gentle encouragement that they sometimes needed. I was more familiar with phrases like, “Get over it, get over yourself, or get with the program!” Of course, there are some things that children needed to be chided on when they don’t obey their parents for sure. But after working in a school for 22 years and seeing the struggles that kids can go through- struggles that are not the simple acts of obedience like making their bed- I have learned that there are deep personal struggles in the lives of kids that sometimes lead to collateral damage and disobedience to simple house rules. Attempts to hammer our kids into obedience is not good parental leadership and usually results in the child declaring, “They do not understand me.”

Recently a dear friend’s child developed a crush on another child and not being mature enough to handle a boy-girl relationship, the child’s life was completely turned upside down. The obsession with the other person made the child behave like they had lost their mind! This was not a time for the parents to simply declare, “end it,” but was a time to walk with their child through the struggle to obey the parents and close out the relationship. It was difficult for the parents to walk the line of being firm in their convictions yet showing empathy, but they did it and God blessed it.

Points # 3 Leaders avoid self-exultation-“They do all their deeds to be seen by others”.

# 4 Leaders accept lowly service positions- “The greatest among you shall be your servant.”

I’m slamming these two together because they seem to flow so easily between the two of them for parents. And I’ll start by going back to the comment I made back in the first part of the article: how would you feel about it if all of your deeds this week were published in the local newspaper? Would the front page headline read, “Mike Lee shows incredible patience with his 14 year old?” Or would it read, “Mike Lee has now yelled at his kids a record 73 weeks in a row?” Maybe you would find yourself written about in the exposé section where it read, “The real Mike Lee- a tyrant and a failure.”

The bottom line is this- do you treat your children differently when there are other people watching? Do you have a traveling road show that is really nothing like who you are as a parent in your home? If so, do you not recognize that your children see the difference that shows them that you are a hypocrite at worst and terribly inconsistent at best?

And what is the view of you in your home? Have you exalted yourself to be the ruling King and Queen of the home? Well, that’s not always a bad thing, but if you are a King that is arrogant and harsh, your children will not approach you. Yes, they need to understand that you are the boss positionally, but they don’t need to see you as lording it over them. Yes, you are the person of authority in the home but as that person, you are serving the legitimate needs of your wife and children. Can a parent be the boss and the servant at the same time? Yes, and we have the ultimate example in Christ.

And that leads us into the last point. Christian parent leaders lead by doing whatever is necessary to serve a functioning Christian home. Fathers must take the lead on this; they are to be looking for opportunities to serve their wife and even their children. This is especially hard to do when a man or woman are coming home after a day of work outside the home. Tired and worn out, a servant leader serves even when exhausted.

All of these things are critically important for parents to model before their children, and I usually don’t mention the first part of Ephesians 6:4 but here it is good to note: “Fathers do not provoke your children.” By following the teaching of the Lord on leadership in the home, you will minimize the chances that you will provoke your children to anger, resentment, and confusion. May the Lord give us the grace to do so.

Thanks for listening, see you next time.

THIS WEEK’S SPOTLIGHT!   Christian Behavior, written by John Bunyan. This is a wonderful fairly short book written by the great John Bunyan to help Christians understand that their lives should be full of good works! Bunyan takes us to Titus 3:7-8 and brings practical application to all areas of the Christian life. You will be blessed by this great saint!

Apple Podcast:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-christian-behavior-by/id1716196912

YouTube:  https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQjUQ_MpGbnqwrBVi7TgRKi3

Choose Your Master: God Or Money. The links are immediately below-

Description: This is one of the most written about topics in the Bible because it is one of the most dangerous to the Christian. Listen in on the good and bad experiences of the author and strongly consider the Bible’s teaching on stewardship.

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-choose-your-master-god/id1683382182

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQiHoB3-tBm1qDDbxxpQAvTl

Title: All Things For Good Written By Thomas Watson And Read By Michael Lee

Title: Critical Considerations For Christian Parents About Your Child’s Education, By Michael Lee

Description: As we search the Bible for answers to the question: How shall we raise our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord,” we can see that the system for educating children was done primary by the parents in the home. However, the world in which we live now is quite different and the vast majority of parents use an educational system that is outside of the home and is that system is called the public schools, or the government schools.

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-critical-considerations/id1678162250

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQjnvjc7QuytT2V3lVr53oqa

Title: From Religion To Christ, Written By Peter Jeffery And Read By Michael Lee

Description:  Tired of the many systems of religion that you have observed or been part of in the past? Are you ready to say goodbye to religion? The author Peter Jeffery, agrees! Doing “religion” is empty and will not get you to heaven. There is something more-something much greater. Take a careful listen through this podcast and discover what a real relationship with God actually looks like.

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-from-religion-to-christ/id1687134464

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQg_lCngBTcjs_dXT1VYvYWA

Title: Rediscovering The Lost Treasure Of Family Worship. Written By Jerry Marcellino And Read By Michael Lee

Description: Family Worship was once the normal practice that most Christian parents led in their homes. Led by either parent, the children would be taught daily from the word of God, pray and sing songs. It was considered to be a vital part of the Christian life.

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-rediscovering-the-lost/id1692401602

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQgNq7asslVBsKyq0FC3arMs

A Call To Prayer By J. C. Ryle.  Although these words were penned more than 100 years ago, the need and application for today’s Christian is greater than ever.

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-a-call-to-prayer-by/id1672880807

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQjaXXgO8P1U-bBFkEMCwdYR

Title: Why Should I Believe Anything About Jesus Christ? Written By Various Authors And Read By Michael Lee

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Last modified: January 19, 2024