The Trad Wife Predicament: Where Are The Trad Husbands?

Before we get to today’s article, I just want to mention that am writing from the perspective of a man that has experienced many of the challenges of which I write…. and those spiritual battles continue daily. The articles are implications of what it means to obey the commandment to raise your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. They require some reflection and are particularly for Christians who, as Peter would say, are diligently seeking to confirm their calling and are making every effort to supplement their faith. Said more succinctly, serious Christians. If you know other believers who desire to walk more faithfully with the Lord, please forward an article to them and tell them to sign up for future articles. Thanks so much!

The Trad Wife Predicament: Where Are The Trad Husbands?

In an article that I wrote last week called, “Should We Fear The Rise Of The Trad Wife?”, I endeavored to make a case for the beauty and benefits of a marriage that featured the traditional roles for husbands and wives. My argument for traditional roles has its foundation in the biblical view of men and women in marriage and how having God at the foundational center of a marriage results in blessings and joy not only in the next life but, also in this one.

However, I am not naive, nor do I have my head buried in the sand so much so that I have not observed the problems in many, many traditional marriages. If you have followed any of my previous articles or videos, you will know that I regularly write about the effects of sin in our lives. I write about sin not because I want to be the person that focuses on negative things or a “Debbie downer”, but because we cannot understand how to live our lives without a very present knowledge of sin and how sin effects every part of our lives.

As we think about marriage, we have to go back to Genesis 1:28 when God, immediately after creating man and woman said, “And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.” If I can say it reverently, God’s declaration that it was very good may have been one of the all-time great understatements. In fact, it wasn’t just very good, it was perfect because God is perfect, and he could not create something that was also not perfect in its creation. However, we don’t have to read much further in the record of the first man and woman before we see that they chose to disobey God and in that moment of disobedience, fell from their perfection and suffered the penalty that God had promised should they decide not to obey.

Think about it-if Adam and Eve had not disobeyed God, they would have had the perfect marriage and produced many, many children who would have grown up and also been very fruitful. If none of their descendants chose to not disobey God, we would be living in a world today with husbands and wives who deeply loved each other, served each other, never got angry toward each other, and never had moments where they lusted for other things or people. I know, I can’t imagine a world like that either, but that was God’s original design for marriage.

And here’s the thing that all Christians must understand and live out in their own walk with the Lord: there are many things that the Lord intended for His creation to do that are incredibly hard to do now that our entire nature has been corrupted by the effects of Adam and Eve’s sin and the sins that we commit daily, but wait for it…. He still expects us to do them! But how? Through the power of Christ working in us.

Yes, marriage is hard because every human being now wants to control the situations they are in, are led by sinful desires, and are full of pride. We are not naturally selfless nor is it our desire to serve others before ourselves. We offend our spouses and when they offend us, we have great difficulty forgiving them. What was once something so beautiful when God created it is now the place offering our greatest relational challenges. However, even though it is marred and distorted from God’s original creation, it still offers the greatest opportunities for a deeply fulfilled life.

So, the young Christian lady says, “I want a traditional marriage with traditional roles for men and women,” but surveys the landscape looking for a man who is looking for a traditional marriage and finds very few prospects. Why is this so?

Well, some of the reasons men are not thinking about embracing a traditional marriage are the same reasons women aren’t looking to live out a traditional marriage. Think about the following points and compare the outlook to a worldview that you would find in God’s word:

• Their common definition of success and happiness is tied to wealth.
• Because accumulating money is a top priority, most men now expect that their wives will go to work and support the idea so that they can obtain the material things that they want.
• They do not actively trust God to provide all of their needs.
• They are much more concerned about finding a woman they are attracted to than a woman that has a heart for the Lord.
• They do not want the responsibility of being the sole provider for their families.
• They do not want their work life to interfere with their personal avenues for entertainment.
• Everything that they have learned from the world tells them that having both spouses work will bring them greater security.
• They do not have a deep desire to have children.
• It was not modeled by their parents.

That being said, do I have a solution for the woman who wants to be a Trad wife and needs a Trad husband? Sadly, I do not. The world has bought into the lies of the sexual revolution and the damage to the culture is severe and long lasting. I would only say that I suspect that you will only find a Trad husband when you find a man that has a solid walk with the Lord and attends a strong Bible believing/teaching church. Do not look for the most handsome man but look for the man whose character reflects the love and servant heart of Christ. I have witnessed pretty Christian ladies who fell in love with the heart of a man and have subsequently wonderful marriages filled with children and joy. Pray earnestly that God will send you the right man and, in the meantime, give you a heart of contentment. 

Two final thoughts. First, for those of you who do not have a marriage with traditional roles for the husband and wife, I’m not saying that you have a sinful marriage or that God cannot bless you. Please note that the first article I wrote about this topic was a reaction to an article I read that criticized a woman who wanted to experience her marriage as a traditional wife. This article is a follow up to that one and I sought to address the obvious other half (The Trad Husband) of the traditional marriage. However, as you think about traditional roles for men and women in marriage and how that may sound appealing to you, you might consider a long-term plan to make changes that would make your marriage look more like the traditional marriages of the past.

Finally, I want to encourage parents to think carefully about what they are modeling to their children. Everything that we do has an effect for multiple generations. While we do not have a large percentage of young people thinking about entering into a marriage with more traditional roles, we can prepare the next generation to think of the Trad marriage as a possibility for them when they are older. It’s a lot to think about and requires full time devotion to your parenting, but that is what it takes to raise them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).

 Dig deep, brothers and sisters, and I’ll see you next time.

THIS WEEK’S SPOTLIGHT:

Title: All Things For Good Written By Thomas Watson And Read By Michael Lee

Description: One of the great Puritans, Watson writes based on the great promise from God that all things work together for good to those that love God. The book will expand your faith in God’s promises and His attributes and give a great comfort to your soul.

Apple Podcast (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/all-things-for-good-by-thomas-watson-and-read-by-michael-lee/id1703108941)

YouTube (https://youtu.be/cCMPuNsv6dE).

Read it online at www.ModernPuritans.com

Title: Sinners In The Hands Of An Angry God, By Jonathan Edwards And Read By Michael Lee

Description: This famous sermon by Jonathan Edwards will sober you up to the awesomeness of God. It is updated in modern English by Modern Puritans.com

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-sinners-in-the-hands/id1695783947

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQjGDaS1xyeRC8vUJFwsxxaX

Title: The Duties Of Parents From The Booklet By J.C. Ryle. Read By Michael Lee

Description: From the famous booklet written by Pastor J.C. Ryle. Pastor Ryle gives us 17 points of Christian parenting on which to focus our attention. His words are timeless and apply to parenting today as much as it did 100 years ago.

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-the-duties-of/id1676664853

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQgfoZGiRgzptFs7g07vkwU5

“Why Should I Believe Anything About Jesus Christ?” Written By Various Authors And Read By Michael Lee

Description: This Podcast features three famous recordings of booklets written by John Blanchard that will strengthen your own understanding on the death and resurrection of Christ and also serve as a great evangelistic tool for a friend or family member. The first booklet is called, “Ultimate Questions.” The second booklet is called, “Why The Cross?” And the third booklet is called, “Jesus, Dead Or Alive?”

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-why-should-i-believe/id1692832161

YouTube: Each of the John Blanchard booklets has its own recording. See below.

Ultimate Questions.  https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQggMxnbCbkLux2C6QB1W0VG

Jesus- Dead Or Alive? https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQjeqfP9L1olkHULFCNHVDDF

Why The Cross? https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQgJEuKxJL0dgjCDM85tyqrQ

Christian Behavior, written by John Bunyan. This is a wonderful fairly short book written by the great John Bunyan to help Christians understand that their lives should be full of good works! Bunyan takes us to Titus 3:7-8 and brings practical application to all areas of the Christian life. You will be blessed by this great saint!

Apple Podcast:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-christian-behavior-by/id1716196912

YouTube:  https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQjUQ_MpGbnqwrBVi7TgRKi3

Choose Your Master: God Or Money. The links are immediately below-

Description: This is one of the most written about topics in the Bible because it is one of the most dangerous to the Christian. Listen in on the good and bad experiences of the author and strongly consider the Bible’s teaching on stewardship.

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-choose-your-master-god/id1683382182

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQiHoB3-tBm1qDDbxxpQAvTl

Title: All Things For Good Written By Thomas Watson And Read By Michael Lee

Description: One of the great Puritans, Watson writes based on the great promise from God that all things work together for good to those that love God. The book will expand your faith in God’s promises and His attributes and give a great comfort to your soul.

Apple Podcast (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/all-things-for-good-by-thomas-watson-and-read-by-michael-lee/id1703108941)

YouTube (https://youtu.be/cCMPuNsv6dE).

Read it online at www.ModernPuritans.com

Title: Critical Considerations For Christian Parents About Your Child’s Education, By Michael Lee

Description: As we search the Bible for answers to the question: How shall we raise our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord,” we can see that the system for educating children was done primary by the parents in the home. However, the world in which we live now is quite different and the vast majority of parents use an educational system that is outside of the home and is that system is called the public schools, or the government schools.

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-critical-considerations/id1678162250

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQjnvjc7QuytT2V3lVr53oqa

Title: From Religion To Christ, Written By Peter Jeffery And Read By Michael Lee

Description:  Tired of the many systems of religion that you have observed or been part of in the past? Are you ready to say goodbye to religion? The author Peter Jeffery, agrees! Doing “religion” is empty and will not get you to heaven. There is something more-something much greater. Take a careful listen through this podcast and discover what a real relationship with God actually looks like.

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-from-religion-to-christ/id1687134464

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQg_lCngBTcjs_dXT1VYvYWA

Title: Rediscovering The Lost Treasure Of Family Worship. Written By Jerry Marcellino And Read By Michael Lee

Description: Family Worship was once the normal practice that most Christian parents led in their homes. Led by either parent, the children would be taught daily from the word of God, pray and sing songs. It was considered to be a vital part of the Christian life.

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-rediscovering-the-lost/id1692401602

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQgNq7asslVBsKyq0FC3arMs

Title: Thoughts For Young Men From The Book By J.C. Ryle. Read By Michael Lee

Description: A wonderful book of Biblical truth and advice for young men. Helpful to parents as well as the young men themselves. Full of wisdom for a life filled with Christ. J.C. Ryle (1816-1900) served God in England as a pastor and teacher for more than 40 years. His words are still being used by the Lord today and are applicable to all Christians in all times.

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-thoughts-for-young-men/id1673847428

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQixZIaBE95_JRojVSkzq1nl

Title: Stand Firm Written By Peter Jeffery and Read By Michael Lee

Description: So you just became a Christian and now what? Get ready for a life of walking with the Lord and experiencing the joy of knowing you have peace with God. However, you also have an enemy- the devil. Peter Jeffery wants to help by teaching you about the battle with the wicked one and how you can STAND FIRM against his attacks!

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-stand-firm-written-by/id1681861976

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQjhDFeGYG5Tt5EWjeuz-e1p

Title: The Duties Of Parents From The Booklet By J.C. Ryle. Read By Michael Lee

Description: From the famous booklet written by Pastor J.C. Ryle. Pastor Ryle gives us 17 points of Christian parenting on which to focus our attention. His words are timeless and apply to parenting today as much as it did 100 years ago.

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-the-duties-of/id1676664853

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQgfoZGiRgzptFs7g07vkwU5

Title: Choose Your Master: God Or Money. Written And Read By Michael Lee

Description: This is one of the most written about topics in the Bible because it is one of the most dangerous to the Christian. Listen in on the good and bad experiences of the author and strongly consider the Bible’s teaching on stewardship.

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-choose-your-master-god/id1683382182

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQiHoB3-tBm1qDDbxxpQAvTl

Title: A Call To Prayer By J.C. Ryle. Read By Michael Lee

Description: This is a passionate plea from the famous preacher and teacher, J.C. Ryle. Although these words were penned more than 100 years ago, the need and application for today’s Christian is greater than ever.

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-a-call-to-prayer-by/id167288080

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAh2MVKU1VQjaXXgO8P1U-bBFkEMCwdYR

Title: Precious Remedies Against Satan’s Devices From The Book By Thomas Brooks. Read By Michael Lee

Description: (This is one that you can listen to a “precious remedy” each day). Thomas Brooks, born in 1608, was a Puritan preacher who wrote a number of essays during his time with possibly the foremost entitled, “Precious Remedies Against Satan’s Devices.” In writing the book’s dedication, he wrote, “Christ, the scripture, your own hearts, and Satan’s devices, are the four prime things that should be first and most studied and searched. If any cast off the study of these they cannot be safe here, nor happy hereafter.” Brooks believed that all Christians have particular weaknesses in their faith and those weaknesses would be exploited in some way by Satan.

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cherish-ephesians-6-4-presents-precious-remedies-against/id1671364198

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Last modified: May 10, 2024