Common Parent Objections to Christian Homeschooling or Christian Day School
Below you will find the objections that I have heard over the last 22 years of my time in Christian day school or Christian Homeschool education. I have broken the objections into three categories and each category has the objection followed by my answer to the objection:
- Objections from parents.
- My “real reasons” that parents object.
- Objections from church leaders.
Objections from parents to moving their children from a secular school to a Christian day school or Christian Homeschool.
Objection: I went to a public school, and I turned out OK.
Answer: This is an interesting way for a Christian parent to display how they think about their own walk with the Lord. Sadly, they are comparing themselves to other sinners rather than comparing their life to Christ. This is not the bar that the Lord has set for us. The holiness of God is the Christian’s standard (1 Peter 1:16), not other fallen people. It also exhibits the view that the parent doesn’t really believe that hearing the Word daily would have made an impact on their heart and mind if they had been Christian schooled (Hebrews 4:12).
Objection: Christian schools are for wealthy families. I can’t afford it.
Answer: Not true. Christian schools offer many kinds of financial assistance/scholarships because they are in existence to serve God’s people and change young minds and hearts through their school. Unfortunately, most parents don’t even make the effort to find out the possibilities from their local Christian school. So first, be faithful to do the investigative work necessary to find out if there is types of financial assistance available to your family at Christian schools in your area.
Second, take an honest and careful look at your finances. Can you make some adjustments to how you spend money? Remembering that all of your money is actually God’s money (He owns it and you are just a manager), pray to God to help you know if you are not spending His money in a way that honors Him. Look to see if you are spending money on things that only bring you short term pleasure rather than things of eternal value.
In light of all that and all that we have discussed here, ask yourself if you have placed less important things above the awesome God ordained task of educating your children the way God wants you to rear them. Remember the words from Jesus in Matthew 6:33: “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
Objection: “We’re going for the scholarship. I need to have my kid in the local public school so he will have greater competition in sports and be seen by college scouts.”
Answer: There are a number of comments to make concerning this objection. First, sports scholarships are incredibly competitive and less than 2% of all high school athletes are good enough to receive one.
Second, the scholarships that are received are typically not full scholarships, so the parent still is responsible for many tens of thousands of dollars during a 4-year college career.
Third, many college athletes become injured and cannot participate at the level that warranted the scholarship, thereby losing the scholarship during their college years.
Fourth, the amount of time, energy, and money that is used during the high school years to attain that level is enormous and often has a negative effect on the entire family. The family schedule is often dictated by year around practices, travel ball, and so on.
Fifth, because so much time and energy is used for sports, both academic and spiritual areas of the child’s life is stunted. The result is to do enough to get by in school and maybe we will get to church next week.
Sixth, young people inevitably fixate on sports figures and mimic their approach to the game and life. Unfortunately, far too many sports figures model many of things that God is against such as disrespect for authority, coarse language, pride, greed, sinful treatment of women, fits of anger, and worldly lifestyles.
Seventh, the most important preparation for life apart from a relationship with Christ and a Christian worldview is a great academic education. Many states and individual colleges award scholarships to student who have at least a “B” average. If reducing the expense of college is a goal, the greatest opportunity is through strong academics, not sports scholarships.
Objection: I need to have my kid in a secular school to be salt and light for Jesus.
Answer: I appreciate that concern. We should be “salt and light” in the world. However, I think a closer look at the passage and the context will help us see who that mission is actually
directed to. In the gospels where this is written, salt and light are meant to be Christian influences in a dark and sinful world. It is only logical that in order to be a Christian influence in the culture, you must be a Christian. So, first you must ask yourself if your child is a born again believer.
Secondly, we must ask, “In what way can my child be salt and light ?” “Is my 1st grader or 5th grader or 8th grader able to have an effect for Christ in the school?” “Can he effectively explain the gospel?” “Can he disciple a believer?” “Can he defend his faith when under attack?” “Can he withstand the constant bombardment of non- Christian teaching, non-Christian thoughts, and non-Christian acquaintances?”
In the vast majority of cases, the answer would be no, and if the answer is no, then your child can’t be “salt and light.” In a rare case the answer may be yes, but you are obviously putting your child at great risk. Sending a child into an environment that is anti-Christian in philosophy is subjecting the mind of your child to daily teaching that is determined to replace God in every subject and every area of life. How many young Christians can even discern that they are being fed worldly ways of thought? You might ask why the vast majority are not able to be “salt and light?” It is really quite simple—they are just children, and children are not the ones that Jesus told to be salt and light—it is adults. It is the same reason that children do not lead Bible studies, become pastors, or go to foreign countries as missionaries. They are not mature
enough emotionally or spiritually, and for that matter, can’t even provide their own physical needs. They are at a time in their life when their primary function is to be a good student, not someone who teaches or disciples others. They are still being trained for adulthood and are still in the care and direction of their parents.
That goes full circle back to the Christian parents’ responsibility. We are called to protect and nurture our children in the ways of Christ so they can grow up to be world changers for Christ- no longer little saplings, but instead, strong oaks for the Lord!
Objection: I don’t want to shelter my child from the real world.
Answer: There is a common misconception that Christian schools shield children from every temptation and sinful exposure. This is not true, nor is it even possible. Christian schools have the same types of children that non-Christian schools have—sinners! Because all children come into this world with a sin nature, they are all prone to selfishness, anger, malicious talk, coveting, and the list goes on. In addition, they are exposed to many of the worldly influences that all children are exposed to in the internet, social media, movies, books, television and more .
The difference in the Christian school is that the Christian school brings the Word of God to every situation in the lives of the children . The Christian school is able to apply the Word of God to every instance of sinful thought or action, and by God’s grace, renew the mind of the child. Hence, the goal to produce adults that have been trained unto godly living and thinking in a world full of temptations and their own weaknesses as a fallen human being.
I knew a family that sent their son to a Christian school and he turned out to be a very rebellious young person.
Answer: The Bible tells us two important facts: while God does not promise salvation for everyone that hears the gospel message, He does say that faith comes by hearing the Word of God, and the Word of God is heard daily in a Christian school (Never in a secular school). Christian schools don’t make Christians- only God does when a person believes that they are lost unless God saves them through faith in what Jesus did on the cross.
I think that I have a Christian teacher this year in the public school system. Does that handle my responsibility of making sure that my child is instructed and trained in the Lord?
Answer: Christian teachers in a school who are not allowed to teach about God are in an incredibly difficult position. They are trying to be an influence for the Lord, but the most important tool that they have, they are not permitted legally to use—the Word of God. A wonderful Christian teacher in a secular school that prays for her class is also not the equivalent of the children being taught the discipline and admonition of the Lord. Making sure your child is in a conservative school or a school that has good test scores is also nothing like what is required from God through the commandment.
Children and adults alike must learn and be changed by the Word of God. It is the very basis for all truth. In John 17:17 Jesus prays for His people and says, “Sanctify them by the truth, Your word is truth.” Children become Christians and grow and are made more like Christ as they hear the Word of God. This is why a Christian education is critical.
Objection: We are waiting until we get to the older grades before we do Christian schooling.
Answer: This is a huge mistake and reveals that parents do not realize how formative all of the years are, kindergarten through 12th grade. There are three stages of learning in the life of a child.
The first stage is the elementary grade years where children essentially believe and commit to memory everything the teacher tells them. Teachers are essentially pouring into their minds anything they believe is true, so we need to consider what is being taught in the secular schools today at those grade levels.
The second stage is the middle school years. At this stage students are beginning to think deeper and question the world they live in. It is critical that the teacher take what has been learned in elementary grades and begin to weave in a Christian worldview as they answer the questions that are being asked.
The third stage is high school where critical thinking skills are developed to create the basis for each student’s view of life. The discussions are deeper and the material more challenging with each passing year. The goal is to have the student ready for the college years from a Christian point of view. There, the student will find that the vast majority of college teachers and professors are determined to rock the faith that your child may have. They must be ready to give a defense for what they believe!
So, you can see that every school year is vitally important to the end product of having a solid, Christian thinking young man or woman. Not going through this process raises the question: Are we building on the rock or on the sand? A great fall will come if we built on sand and sadly, that is what is happening to most young people today when they leave their homes and go into the world (Matthew 7:24).
Objection: If we pull all of the good kids out of the local public school, what will happen to those left behind?
Answer: I can appreciate the concern for all of the children in the local secular schools, but God didn’t command you to take care of all of those children, He clearly commanded you to raise your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. In other words, obedience is your calling and not knowing what God will do over the next number of years with public schools in America is not a reason to not do so. We must obey God and trust that He knows what is best for the schools, the children there, and everything else in the world.
My “Real Reasons” for Parents not obeying Ephesians 6:4
Ignorance of the scriptures/don’t know what the Bible says about parenting or don’t know how to apply God’s word to parenting.
Answer: There are parents that are relatively new to the faith or somewhat immature in their walk with the Lord. This is where we must have churches and church leaders with programs that educate about Biblical parenting.
Disbelief in the power of the word of God.
Answer: there are many people who are well versed in the scriptures but in fact, do not believe in the power of God’s word, or the efficacious nature of the Bible. These parents have to be taught and challenged by church leaders. When addressed, this is one of those areas that might reveal the true heart of a professing believer and a subsequent an opportunity for the gospel.
Parents are not Christians, so they reject the truth and implications of Ephesians 6:4.
Answer: similar to the previous comment, this is a tremendous opportunity for the gospel.
Peer pressure and the love of man.
Answer: I have spoken with many parents who prioritize the response of their friends before they make any major decisions. If they are choosing to do something such as Christian educate their children, most parents will have extended discussions with their friend group, and because the vast majority of Christian parents in our country have their children attend secular schools, you can be sure that the vast majority of their friends will frown on these parents doing anything different than what everyone else is doing. There may even be a subtle kind of persecution from these other parents, even if they are professing Christians, because their consciences or pricked about what they’re doing with their own children. Many parents who are considering Christian education succumb to this pressure and keep their children in a secular school. Clearly, this is a case of loving the acceptance and praise of men over obedience to our glorious God.
Parents refuse to spend the money it may take to do the job (faithful Biblical parenting) and choose instead to prioritize financial decisions around future perceived financial security and things like entertainment.
Answer: The Bible has an awful lot to say about choosing to disobey God and pursue things that are temporal in nature. The results are all bad. Jesus spoke to this himself so we will leave it there.
No time, no energy, just can’t fit it in to the parents’ lives.
Answer: Yes, that is true and understandable. That is, if you accept worldliness as a virtue. However, worldliness is not something that God condones. In fact, worldliness is directly opposed to godliness and God hates it. This is where we find far too many professing Christian parents in our churches. They are weighed down with so many distractions such as the love of their jobs, love of material things, love of money, love of entertainment, and many other idols that stand in the way of walking with the Lord and obeying Ephesians 6:4. They are so entangled with the cares of the work and are exhausted with trying to keep up with all of their worldly goals for themselves and their children. I believe this (worldliness) is the greatest challenge for church leaders.
