How Does A Control Freak Find Comfort With God?

Before we get to today’s article, I just want to mention that am writing from the perspective of a man that has experienced many of the challenges of which I write…. and those spiritual battles continue daily. The articles are implications of what it means to obey the commandment to raise your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. They require some reflection and are particularly for Christians who, as Peter would say, are diligently seeking to confirm their calling and are making every effort to supplement their faith. Said more succinctly, serious Christians. If you know other believers who desire to walk more faithfully with the Lord, please forward an article to them and tell them to sign up for future articles. Thanks so much!

How Does A Control Freak Find Comfort With God?

I am a very organized person. Some might actually say I am controlling. OK, some might say that I am a control freak! What do I mean by that? Well, I mean I try to dictate as much as I can of all  the details of the present situation in order to control the outcome of all future situations. Of course, I recognize intellectually that I can’t perfectly prepare for all eventualities, but I can’t help but try. Am I the only one that thinks this way and does this conflict with my trust in a sovereign God?

If the Lord wills, I will soon be continuing my earthly journey into my 68th year. As I look back, I see that being organized and as prepared as possible for any eventuality has always been a focus for me. At times, this has seemed to serve me well in my endeavors to run several businesses, but not always. Looking more closely at the past, I can now see that there were times when my planning was helpful, but my trust in my planning led to terribly disappointing outcomes.

Take my sports career as an example. I planned and worked incredibly hard to become proficient at the game of basketball, but it all came crashing down in my college years and when it did, I was devastated. Later in life, I planned and paid attention to every detail as a small business owner of a fledgling venture, but when the revenues did not meet the expenses, it had to be shut down and once again, I experienced great disappointment. Certainly, a great deal of the mental and emotional pain came from the fact that I had lost control and there was nothing I could do about it.

Maybe you’re not as much of a control freak as I am but I need to tell you all of us have that controlling gene in us, and it often reveals itself in our worst moments. Are you a mom that dreads your children leaving your home one day? Some moms hate the idea that their children will soon be grown up and actually make accommodations for their children to stay in their home instead of encouraging them to fly. Others are not disturbed by their children leaving because they have created a new paradigm where they expect their child to visit regularly- that is, according to their version of regularly. Clearly, they have replaced one situation where they were in control with a new situation they will try to control.

Are you a worker that continues to work because you are in control of your work environment and can’t imagine what leaving it would be like? Maybe you’ve heard that many retire and once they are out of the job they spent many years giving their life to, they become disoriented and depressed.

Well, the Lord has some instructions for us so we can think rightly about our lives and experience the joy that the Lord intends for us. In the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon pulls together both the reality of seasons in life and the fact that holding on to anything, things that you try to control or places that you find your self value, is vanity. Solomon’s life experience and writings teach us that we are never in control of our lives no matter how certain we may be in each situation or how hard we try to contain it.

Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun (Ecclesiastes 2:11).

No, our lives are constantly moving and changing and are just a confluence of seasons.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

a time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

a time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

a time to tear, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate;

a time for war, and a time for peace (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8).

Of course, there is nothing wrong with planning or being organized, but as God makes clear in Proverbs 16:9, you can plan all you want, but it is God who will direct your steps according to his will. James 4:13-16 gives those who plan and assume success a big bucket of ice water in the face when he says,

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.

And James points us to the root of arrogance and it’s pride. In 4:6, he writes- God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Poof! Plans gone, control never existed, maybe even your life gone!

That’s a good segue into some thoughts about death that should help shape our overall life perspective. You remember that Adam and Eve changed the course of mankind when they flat out disobeyed God? They must have thought for a moment they were in control of access to knowledge of good and evil if they ate from that tree. And as you know, God kept his promise that they would die if they ate from the tree. However, God in his grace and mercy did not destroy them on the spot. Although they deserved destruction, he allowed them to live and enjoy the beauty of the world, although tarnished from sin, for many years.

And so it is with us as well. I have enjoyed many blessings and days of joy in this fallen world and although I have tried to control the aging process in my body, I have become more aware of the truth that has been there from the beginning- I cannot control it and I will surely die. Some who read this will say that I’m getting a little morbid here, but I am not. We need to think about our lives in light of the reality of death. The truth of the matter is that we do not want to think about death because we love this world too much, can’t imagine that Heaven is better, or are too afraid of that moment that we “cross over.” In all three, we are not thinking the way the Lord would have us think.

We need to remember we control nothing in this world, but our willingness to love and obey God and even in that, we need the help of the Spirit. We will definitely be tested many times during our lives we can and must trust God that His plan is the most perfect, the most loving, and one that brings Him the greatest glory. That is how a control freak can find comfort in knowing it is the sovereign Lord Who has all of the control over my life.

As Solomon says in 9:7, Go, eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart, for God has already approved what you do.

Yes, the Lord will use all of my life to make me more like Christ and in the end, bring me home to Him.

Thanks for checking in. See you next time.

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Last modified: September 28, 2023